THE PERFECT BEAUTY IDEAL: Battling Colourism and Body Shaming in Modern Times

Growing up in Asia, particularly in a Malaysian Indian community, there has been this one annoying constant that we’re NEVER able to shake away. It sticks on to us like a leech, sucking the precarious self-esteem that most of us have spent years building. All it takes is a nanosecond and one question, or rather, a statement for it to come crashing down: “Why have you become so dark?” “Oh, you’ve put on weight.” “I prefer a fair girl for my son.” “Here, try this fairness cream.” “You’re too dark to wear that colour.”

Yeap... Those two tiny red blotches make up my country. Also, Asia is gigantic and so diverse that we look nothing like our immediate neighbours and have such different customs and lifestyles.

COLONIZATION AFTER EFFECTS?

And the stereotype of the PERFECT beauty ideal continues to plague us. WHY? Let me get this straight, it’s not just the Indian community that is facing this bias, in fact, it seems that it is a very ASIAN problem as a whole. The Malay, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai… you name it… Why are we so obsessed with white-washing? Why is it still an issue even as we are 1 year away from the much hyped year 2020? When I was in primary 1 in year 2001, I was expecting flying cars and high speed bullet trains, cars that could fit themselves into a briefcase like in the Jetsons yet, here we are almost 19 years later, still bound by such a superficial mentality that ‘a fair skin colour= beauty’. You know what that is? The after effects of colonization. The ‘lighter is superior’ mind-set.

Oh, no… Before you go on ranting about how “forward-thinking” we are and how equality exists in Malaysia and Western nations, let me be very blunt. We are still living in a country that looks at your skin colour and race to determine if you deserve a job and/or live between four walls and put a roof over your head without even sparing a second to know of your skill set nor your character. Fight me on this!

You need to be of a particular race to be able to get into certain universities and you need to be of a particular race if you want to lead a nation. It’s rotting the very core of the nation, starting from education right up to the top! What does my ancestry even have anything to do with what I’m worth? Again, you know what that is? SLAVE mentality. Even after 62 years of becoming an independent nation, here it is. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but the fact remains despite our efforts to camouflage it with the "Multicultural Melting-pot" slogan to represent our nation as a whole. Argue with yourself and ask, “What does anybody’s skin colour and ancestry have anything to do with their skills, abilities and their character as a whole?” If you say the way they were brought up, then what do you say to a situation where an adopted Indian child who grows up in a Chinese family for his/her whole life gets blatantly rejected for a job because they still carry an Indian name or practically looks Indian?

SORRY, YOU’RE NOT FAIR AND THIN.

Back to the simpler issue: Why does one need to be fair and thin to be a good wife or even be eligible for marriage? What are we running? A competition? And even then, why do these two factors have to come into play for a pageant?

I have both been exasperated and amused when I see people (men and boys alike) vying for my friends’ attention who are basically all fairer in complexion than me all through primary, secondary, university to date. I’ve had it with this even as early as when I was in high school. I’ve become resigned and assured that NOBODY would even bother trying to flirt with me because:

A) I was dark and B) I was not thin. In simple words, DO NOT FIT the beauty ideals of this messed up society that I have grown to resent and in college, have resorted to not giving a single damn about.

Yep, I stopped caring. I really couldn’t care less if an ‘auntie ji’ comes and shoves up her opinion on me by telling me to use *Bright & Pretty cream and soak my entire being in it for 3 weeks straight to become considerably fair because I’m SO DONE with you people. If you think, “Oh no, she’s not going to find a man and get married,” then SO BE IT!

*name of the product has been changed but come on, we all know it.

Perhaps I can’t change the society and the way they have been trained to think but you can bet that I’d rebel against this sickening idealism and change the way I think. Again, nothing against fair skinned people but there is a whole bunch of individuals who are shunned for having extra melanin (which is supposed to delay sun burn and skin cancer AND save you money because you don’t have to slather the highly priced SPF 130++ that often comes in a tiny bottle all over yourself.)- P.S: Do wear sunblock though. We’ve done enough harm to the ozone for the sun to roast us alive.

Even among the fair skinned, there seems to be a sort of unspoken ‘Who is the fairest of them all’ competition going on. I really don’t get it.

“Maybe if you lose a little weight and put on some fairness cream, it would be easier for you to get married.”- Indian Aunties.

As an Indian kid, I was brought up on a steady diet of Bollywood and Kollywood movies (Hindi and Tamil movies respectively) and from the day I became self-aware and aware of the world around me (which was around age 4-ish), I’ve never once seen or heard a man singing odes and sonnets to a dark skinned heroine. Why are there movies with countless dark skinned male leads adored by male and female movie goers alike with empowering messages like, “Who said girls won’t fall for a dark skinned boy,”- Vishal, Theeradha Vilaiyattu Pillai (circa 2010) as he proceeds to get three fair skinned girls to fall for him whereas the only time I’ve heard a song that says “She does not have a great (fair) complexion, but it is not a shortcoming,”- Aval Appadi Ondrum, Angadi Theru, was sung to an actual fair skinned actress who was given a slight tan (or no foundation on her face) for the role which is the furthest representation and appreciation we ever got so far. There seems an existent inclusiveness of dark skinned talents regardless of size among male actors from Rajini to Vijay Sethupathi yet the industry and community suddenly become hypocritical towards female artistes as the same inclusiveness is not extended to them.

Nandita Das was the very first representation that I saw on TV in a film of a dark skinned woman. She played a minor role which was impactful in the movie Kannathil Muthamittal, 2002. Believe it or not, it was my first time seeing a dark skinned actress in an Indian movie who was not used as a comedy relief, heavily focused on colourism.

Movie Poster: Kannnathil Muthamittal (translates to A Peck on the Cheek)

What is this? GASSSPPPP! An actual dark skinned girl as the lead!?

For once, I saw somebody like me in the big screen. Trust me, it was actually difficult for me as an 8 year old to comprehend that she and I shared the same skin colour because I was convinced being fair skinned is the primary requirement to be able to act in films. Plus, I've NEVER seen a dark skinned Indian girl/woman in a movie... LIKE EVER!

OH, LOOK! A FAT SHAMING COMEDY SCENE THAT DESERVES AN OSCAR!

I could give you A LIST of movies where women and even men who are on the heavier side of the scale were thrown shades at and even thrown insults right to their faces (often with an elephant trumpeting or a cow mooing sound in the background), all in the name of comedy. Sounds familiar, dear Indians? I bet it is. What do we do? We laugh along, merely taking it as a joke without once stopping to think how hurtful it actually must be if that was done to an actual person in REAL LIFE! In fact, we do it, with or without realising it. “Oh, that is simply to promote health and fitness,” some may say but does being thin really equate to fitness? I personally know people who are way thinner than me who wouldn’t be able to hike the same distance I could. The atrocity of this situation? It still continues to remain a popular joke among Tamil movies in particular; firmly and ‘creatively’ re-enacted over and over again, garnering laughter among the masses time and time again. Add a dark skinned fat girl and we have COMEDY GOLD! Give them an Oscar! *applause please*

I’m calling you out on this dear actors, directors and script writers!

STRUT YOUR STUFF, SCREW THE SOCIETY

We are often found taking on colour and racial discrimination that happens in countries like America and voicing out our opinions in defence of our darker skinned brethren across the globe yet remain hypocritical to the plank in our own eye.

To my fellow dark skinned babes who don’t fit into the mould: you don’t have to! Screw society and continue to be the goddess that you are! Wear that bright yellow and neon pink and strut your stuff in front of that auntie, and prove her otherwise. Nobody can take away your confidence unless you let them.

Take my favourite girl, Nandini from SAYS.com for example. That gurrrrllll… She’s taking society and giving them slaps across the face all the while being gorgeous, smart, elegant, funny and unapologetically herself.